Michelled Machado

Have you ever noticed how certain people weave in and out of your life like threads in a tapestry, some creating bold, lasting patterns while others appear briefly before fading away? This natural ebb and flow of relationships is something I’ve been reflecting on lately, particularly after several heartfelt conversations with younger friends who seem surprised—even hurt—when connections they thought would last forever begin to drift apart.

After recent conversations with a younger audience, I’ve realized that many have expectations about change that don’t match reality. There’s often this unspoken belief that authentic relationships should withstand any transformation, that true friends will always remain by your side regardless of how your path evolves. While this sentiment is beautiful in theory, my experience has taught me something different about the journey of self-discovery.

Having moved across cities, countries, and continents more times than I can count, I’ve learned firsthand that starting a new chapter often means leaving some people behind, not because they’ve failed you or you’ve failed them, but simply because their part in your journey has reached its natural conclusion.

I remember the mixture of excitement and anxiety I felt before my move from my comfortable hometown to a bustling metropolis across the country. “We’ll video chat every week,” my closest friends promised. “Nothing will change between us,” we assured each other. The intentions were genuine, but reality unfolded differently. Those weekly calls gradually became monthly, then occasional. Some relationships adapted and found new rhythms, while others gently faded into cherished memories.

This pattern repeated with each major life transition; career changes, international relocations, shifts in personal values and priorities. Each time I stepped further into my authentic self, I noticed the circle around me naturally adjusting, with some people drawing closer while others drifted away.

Yes, sometimes, the very people you supported on their path might not be there when you need them. There’s a particular sting when someone whose dreams you championed, whose tears you dried, whose growth you nurtured, seems to disappear just when you’re facing your own challenges. Some will stay silent in the background, watching from a distance as you navigate unfamiliar territory without them.

But that’s the reality of change and stepping outside your comfort zone; not everyone will join you. And that’s okay.

The ones who are meant to continue the journey with you will stay. They’ll adapt alongside you, finding new ways to connect across distances both physical and circumstantial. They’ll celebrate your evolution rather than resisting it, recognizing that personal growth strengthens rather than threatens authentic relationships.

I’ve come to see these natural transitions not as losses but as necessary realignments. Each person who enters our lives brings specific lessons, joys, and purposes. Some are meant to walk with us for decades, while others might appear for just a season or a reason; teaching us something essential before both parties continue on their separate paths.

So, if you’re hesitating about embracing change for fear of losing people, remember this: change clears the way for the people who are meant to support you moving forward. Those relationships that dissolved weren’t failures, they were complete. They served their purpose perfectly for the chapter they occupied.

Trust the natural rhythm of your journey. Release any guilt about outgrowing certain connections or about others outgrowing you. Instead, practice gratitude for what each relationship has contributed to your story.

You are exactly where you’re meant to be. The next chapter awaits with its own cast of characters; some familiar faces who’ve chosen to turn the page with you, and others you’ve yet to meet who will play crucial roles in your continuing story. What relationships have you outgrown as you’ve evolved? Which ones have surprisingly deepened? I’d love to hear your reflections on how change has shaped your circle of connections.

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